Disinfectant and delousing,

• Herbert Park Rangers fans assembled in vast numbers to welcome the beardie weirdies on Thursday, with a subsequent drop-off in message-board and email traffic the following day. The entire squad (and certainly everyone here at the Board) spent the day mutely staring at their screens, making little groaning sounds.

• El Stadio Daddio Magnifico Herbert Olympico Hampden Park Neucamp Maine Road Bernabau San Siro Giants Penrith Palladium Stadium of Light Fantastic Free Londonderry of Perchance to Dreams Welcome to This Evening’s Cabaret Cauldron of Burnination NürburgRing of Fire and Impeach the Committee in the Disco No Surrender will be open tomorrow as always for the game at 6:00 PM.

• Highlight of the week ahead will certainly be the Liffey Descent into Chaos. Added obstacles this year will include ‘rescue’ at Wren’s Nest being ‘co-ordinated’ by UCDC’C.’ It might be safer to walk around this year folks. The East Wall massif were out adding reinforcement fibreglass to hulls and prows of their craft with the hope of cutting a swathe through the danger. Deploy the rotating knives. 

• Lowlight of the week: The continued presence of one Lee Carsley in an Irish jersey. Once again this week, at Lansdowne Road, much disrespect was shown to Herbert Park Rangers, with not a single squad member called up for national duty. And to make matters worse, Lee Carsley continues to ‘play’ for Ireland, if his laughable display could be called ‘playing.’ If he ever shows up in Herbert Park, he won’t be getting a game. This farce has gone on long enough. The Board lays down the following ultimatum (for American readers: you say ultimatum, I say ultimato): Brain Kerr: select at least one Herbert Park Rangers player for the game against Switzerland or else we take the club back to Britain. Yes indeed, quit the FAI and rejoin the Irish Football Association in LondonBelfast. Derbies against Linfield anyone? 

• Portuguese Footballing Phrase of the Week: For Wren’s Nest on Saturday: ‘Acuse o Comitê!’ which means ‘Impeach the Committee!’